


i just want to be torn to pieces (and thrown to the stars)

by sammyspreadyourwings



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Purple Prose, Stargazing, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:09:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22812055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammyspreadyourwings/pseuds/sammyspreadyourwings
Summary: Freddie and Brian stargaze. Freddie muses.
Relationships: Brian May/Freddie Mercury, Brian May/Roger Taylor
Comments: 11
Kudos: 42





	i just want to be torn to pieces (and thrown to the stars)

**Author's Note:**

> I am a simple author. I get in sad hours and see a post and then I write something.

“You know, the light that we see know is millions of years old. The stars that we see might be dead,” Brian whispers.

Freddie smiles and watches Brian begin to point out the different constellations. Explaining what people thousands of years ago have seen and what people in a thousand years will see. He knows all of this. Each star has a soul and each soul is given a star.

Brian May is born from stardust. A strange gift of the universe. Freddie wonders what Brian thinks the hiraeth gloom is caused by. His emotions are dictated by the stars, but Brian is an endless mystery.

He has known countless stars, but never has he seen one glow so dimly but burn so fiercely. Freddie was sent to bring the lost star home, but what the universe doesn’t know is that this is the star’s home.

Roger is his pair. They’re locked together, meant to circle each other endlessly until they collapse together. John is the planet caught in their orbit, watching from afar but no less impervious to the whims of the laws.

Freddie knows they aren’t stars. Roger is far too human even if his temper burns hotter than a white dwarf and he has a wisdom beyond his age. John maintains the aloofness desired of celestials but he loves too tightly only because he fears losing it.

Not that he is the best example of this. Freddie has never been the typical of his kind, far too generous to the mortals. They should consider them nothing more than flecks against the black. He wonders if any of those old celestials have walked among the worlds.

He knows for certain they’ve never heard Brian wax poetic about things he has only begun to grasp. The stars call to him. Freddie knows that the task would be simple to pull him into the universe. To show him the joys of being Beyond mortals.

Except that he cannot.

Brian May is made from stardust. A lost supernova. He is the one that Freddie loves desperately and wholly.

Brian May loves Roger Taylor.

They circle each other like the binary stars they will become in a few million years but their collision is inevitable. Roger is balanced, his tempest storm of emotion settling so that it does not whip against Brian. Brian is ebullience in his presence, his dim star glow sparkles like the trail of a comet in the face of Roger.

Together they’re an unstoppable moiety.

Freddie knows in the million years he will have after this moment. This one perfect moment. This moment where Brian is carefree and grinning, looking up at what could be his home but will never be. There are glimmers of long-forgotten elements in his eyes and the timbre of life-breaths in his voice. He knows that after this moment, and the million more after it, Freddie will never love another.

His love will always love another.

“It’s an incredible gift,” Brian whispers, “to see the past in the present. Who knows what happened to them? The lives that could have called that star home.”

Freddie knows he could answer Brian’s question.

_“What is incredible is watching you breathe, bringing life to your thoughts and giving me the greatest gift I've ever held, you.”_

He could say that. It would bring Brian’s love to him. His kind soul could not say no to such a confession. Freddie knows that they would not be as happy as he will be with Roger.

Roger who holds no wonder for the stars but has been given one to love.

Instead, he smiles, covers Brian’s hand with his own.

“Suppose you’ll have to find out for us, Brimi.”

Brian smiles, crooked grin and crinkled eyes. Freddie presses his lips together because he can see Brian old and gray, but crow’s feet and laugh lines show his happiness in age. The saddened soul Brian has been given will be warmed by love. Right now he can keep Brian at this blissful twenty-five.

“I think I’ll leave that to others. The only mystery I want to solve is Queen.”

Freddie snorts and hugs Brian tightly, “what’s the fun in figuring us out?”

“I can give you my life, Freddie, but I don’t think that I’d ever know everything about you.”

“An unachievable goal then. What a good way to spend your life.”

Brian May is stardust, but Freddie will let him live with the wonderment of it. Then one day it will be time for him to go back to the cosmos and allow his mind to wander to that forever what if.

**Author's Note:**

> As always leave your thoughts and comments below or come talk to me on tumblr!


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